For years, I was stuck in a cycle—always playing catch-up, always digging deeper. One step forward, two steps back. I felt completely out of control. The hobby had become something else entirely for me. My ego took over. I started to lose who I really was. Going to the card shop felt like visiting an addict. I’d pull out credit cards, spend money I didn’t have, and tell myself I’d flip some cards to make it all back. But the truth was, I wasn’t collecting anymore—I was chasing. Numbing. Escaping. Driving home from the shop, I’d feel sick with self-loathing and depression. The only thing I could think to do to feel better? Buy another card. And the cycle would start again. Over time, I became someone I didn’t even recognize. Self-sabotaging. Lost in the noise. That pain spilled into every part of my life. This year brought even more weight—my mother was diagnosed with cancer, and that pulled everything into perspective. Suddenly, all the distractions, all the ego, all the noise—it faded. And what was left was a hard truth: I realized the only things that matter the most to me—my health, my peace of mind, and how I show up for the people around me. So I stepped away. I sold off 90% of my collection. I surrendered to the fact that the hobby, as it stood for me, had become toxic. It was everything I wasn’t. I’ve never been about money. But I got caught in something that felt more like addiction than passion. And while I know not everyone sees it that way, I also know I’m not the only one who’s felt this. We’re all at different points in our journey. Mine happened to be a very dark place. This message might sound heavy—but it’s honest. And I believe more light needs to be brought to those still navigating that darkness. Platforms like Collectors MD are starting to make space for those conversations. That matters. Because when you’re deep in it, it’s hard to see your way out. But there is a way out. #CollectorsMD —
Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is let go of what’s hurting you—and start the work of finding your way back to yourself.
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